God happens to be a bioscientist as well as an engineer! With so much time in his hand( about a few million years approx), he has had ample amount of time to study cell biology and robotics etc.
When god graduated, he wanted to start a manufacturing unit. But he realized that he lacked man power, there being only one god. So he went ahead to learn theory of omnipresent and omnipotent, and hence he could be in several places to do several tasks. So he started with the building of a universe gradually by exploding some raw materials that he could accumulate in his journey around the cosmos(BIG bang). There still remained one problem, god being only god, he still had to have his share of personal time, which was not liberal considering his ambitions with the manufacturing unit and the rate at which it was growing,(it is not easy to master all knowledge and keep it contained, and god was fond of experimenting). His manufacturing unit being more like an IC Fabrication facility of today, he needed automation. This led the almighty to learn physics and automation, and he could now program things to work by themselves, and raise an alarm only when there were critical issues.
God owned a few lab notebooks, in which he had recorded every study or experiment that he had done in his ENTIRE life. One particular day, when god was making an encyclopedia of his studies, he came across an idea of Positive and negative feedback control in his manufacturing unit. This led to the theory of sins and good deeds. Whenever Sins>>deeds The negative feedback loop would kick in, and if good>>sins, positive feedback would function. During the process of evolving his lab, god realized that there was a lot of debris being generated from failed experiments, malfunctioning and dead devices, and updated versions led to the elimination of the older versions( like the homo sapiens took over and he had to get rid of all the neanderthals and so on).
At this point god figured that he needed an apprentice, one who could take care of all the debris. He sent out an advertisement and the only candidate who turned up was one Dr. Satan who had been following god's experiments and results on a famous journal (appears he had eliminated all other contestants in order to acquire the job himself!). God realized that he had no other option but to accept this new burnt complexioned guy as his apprentice. Satan was a unique creature, he was suffering from OCD(Obsessive compulsive disorder), and hence whenever god's mess would get out of hand, he used to set fire to the entire amount of debris. God being a knowledgeable person, feared for asthma and fire damage to his property and lab, and hence made a pact with Satan that he would have a filter system in his garbage chute where he would filter the garbage from the negative feedback to a separate furnace house, and Satan would be the manager of that unit, and he also taught Satan certain parts of omnipresent( but not the omnipotent) theory, so that Satan could manage the garbage disposal unit! He told Satan that he could contact god anytime he had doubts regarding anything!
The debris from the positive feedback were recyclable, so god used it in his experiments after some processing!
One day, while god was on a holiday, Satan called him to tell that one particular chip, called Earth, was resulting in a lot of negative feedback debris. God realized that this was one of those chips in which he had manufactured several units of homo sapiens after a lot of trial and error with their genetic makeup, unlike in mars where he had different units with the same basic functions (More like BJT and MOSFET). Homo sapiens had evolved to function by themselves, multiplied randomly, and were in a stage where they were even figuring out that they were all parts of an experiment, some of them had gotten a glimpse of god when he was trying to set things right and monitor their development, and some heard god when he was reading out loud from his encyclopedia, and they picked up bits of god's knowledge. They had even started sending out optical probes(space bots) to see who could be watching them. While some species on other chips, had figured out that they were part of the experiment, but had decided to let god work in peace by not disturbing him. The fact that earth was generating a lot of negative debris meant that there was some malfunction in the way god had programmed the homo sapiens. Apparently they were becoming some sort of cancer in the chip called Earth, and were trying to abort the chip function with their byproducts!
Now god realized that this experiment was not a failure, but a success. He had re-programmed a variable called commonsense with two other variables called EGO and selfishness, and thus the value of sins became >>>>good! this resulted in the loop of negative feedback with a large path gain value and thus excess debris!
God decided that he had to isolate this chip, else it would start affecting the neighboring chips. So he took out his plasma arc weld and started removing the chords connecting the chip to the experiment, at that time there was a large surge of current and the sparks from his weld fell as meteorites on some parts of the chip! God rushed to the tap and got out a cup of water to put out the smoke! but it was too late when he realized that the particles were destroyed due to his unintended annealing process! This was not a failure in the experiment! God now knew what not to add in his variable database to have a proper functioning chip!
As for Satan, he got an entire chip(EARTH) to chuck into the furnace, and keep the lab neat and tidy. So all ends happily (for god and Satan that is!).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
